On The Edge
This project has been a gift...period. "On The Edge" has been written to hopefully reach others who have ever suffered with a mental health disorder and also those who seem to be lost at times and need a reminder that you are never alone. Even within the darkest hours of this illness. Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder that shifts mood swings between being manic happy and suicidal depression. Those who suffer from this illness can wreck their lives as well as those around them if not treated properly. During my 20 years of facing this illness, I thank God for the people who have stood by my side and supported me. This is an illness I refused to accept when I first was diagnosed and faced some of the hardest moments of my life but over time I have learned what works for me and what just does not. This past February was a pivotal changing point in my life after I had a major allergic reaction to an additional medicine that was added due to stress and was rushed by ambulance after the seizure-like systems caused my body to go into convulsions that would not stop...I was unable to walk for a couple of hours. There was even a time it came to my mind that I was not going to make it after I was falling out of consciousness. This night changed me from the inside out and the decisions that I make for my life. This album I began writing after this traumatic episode. For a couple of months I had nightmares, panic attacks thinking the same thing was going to happen if I took any medicine at all. I needed God more than anything. I was and felt alone, I was scared, and I just kept writing. This album not only has been therapy for me but my hope is that it reaches others who may be suffering with some type of mental illness. This album has given me a closer and more intimate relationship with Christ and without Him, I am nothing. I am a changed person because of our Maker and I will forever praise His name for giving me this gift and His unconditional love that I do not deserve.